Brokenness Mended By Grace: Part VII

Scandalous Love

Romans 8:1

After years of putting everyone on high pedestals that only Jesus could reach and trying to climb that pedestal myself, I finally came to grips that I was imperfect and never going to be perfect until the day I meet Jesus face to face. Everyone is imperfect. No matter how much I try to be perfect or fight with myself to look the part, I cannot do everything right within my own might.

The more I tried to do all the right things and cut out all the wrong things to try to gain God’s affection and the affections of others, the more mistakes I made. With the mistakes I would make came guilt, shame, and hatred for myself because I could never be good enough for Him.

Growing up, my interpretation of God was this angry man that was out to punish all creation because of our sin. I had this belief that if I were not living out every one of the Ten Commandments, God was frowning at me and would disown me as his daughter.

I later discovered the grace factor, coming to the realization that our salvation is not predicated on works, but grace given through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Even in that realization, I still had not grasped the greatness of God’s love for us.

I remember being in Dallas, Texas, away from all that I knew at a Sunday church service. The church was totally different from anything I had ever known. There, no one knew my last name, no one knew who my parents were, and I was stripped of any titles I had previous gained in ministry. In this service, I was just one of the thousands of people needing a life-changing experience with God.

Starting from the beginning of worship to the words that were spoken on the pulpit, it felt as if the service was just for me. Free of ministry obligations, I was fully engaged as continuous tears ran down my face. That Sunday and the Sundays that would follow, it seemed like every heavy weight I’d carried began to fall away. His healing power touched me from the inside out, and I gained a new fire for God that I did not know was in me. It was at Trinity Church Cedar Hill that I recaptured the story of God’s love and grace in a new way.

God does not love us or accept us because of a list of rules we follow or good deeds we have done. Although I knew this to be true before, it seemed more evident this time. It was felt so deeply in the hearts of the pastor, leaders and congregation.

I moved to Dallas knowing a handful of people and brought no one along with me, yet people who did not know me from Adam invited me into there homes. I watched the church come together to soew into many of the members who worked in missions, those who found themselves jobless, single moms, ministries for previously incarcerated men and women, etc.

After my bout with “The Church Girl Group,” I had to learn God for myself. I knew God loved ALL people and wanted believers to love ALL people, but sometimes it was difficult to see love not based on religious traditions. I wanted to be apart of a church that mirrored the church of Acts. That’s what I saw there, and it changed me forever.

I had never seen a church act in this capacity. I honestly was beginning to think the church of Acts was impossible in this day and age. Although my time in Dallas was short lived, my short time at Trinity has forever impacted my life.

God Loves You More Than You Could Ever Know

If you have come to believe that God is some huge being in the sky waiting for you to fail with the sole intentions of punishing you for His entertainment, like I did, you are totally wrong. God is not rooting for your demise. He did not create humans to punish them and chastise them.

Let me tell you a secret I don’t think most people know, including Christians. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the WORLD that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” God loves the whole WORLD! He doesn’t just love the ‘good people’ or the ones who love Him. WORLD. Jesus died for every single person ever created and for every sin ever done, knowing that there would be those who would never love Him back. He died for everyone regardless of his or her sex, race, creed, religion, background, flaws, and sin.

“ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death… And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39 NLT).

Jesus is the embodiment of love and grace beyond measure. He took the place for those who would never love God, never worship God, and never turn towards Him. God has already accepted each and every one of us regardless of what we do and do not do, because He loves everyone of us just that much! Let us take it a step further. Not only does He love us unconditionally, but he also loves us enough to give us a choice to accept His love. Oh what a Scandal!

This is not what they were teaching when I was growing up in church or I was blinded to it. We learned what we needed to do to be righteous and how not to sin. Do not think I am saying, “Sin all day long; you only live once!” No, no, no! It is not ok to abuse grace and use it as an excuse to live your life any kind of way. I am saying you cannot be perfect in and of yourself.

It is God’s love that is perfecting us. Even as a Christian you will make mistakes, but it is important to always get back up, knowing Grace has already taken your place. Live for God out of your love for Him. Just like one wants to make their parents proud, make Daddy God proud. He already loves you and has accepted you. Walk in it!

Now that I live my life not trying to be perfect, I am able to truly love God just for who He is and all He’s done. His love and His grace have nothing to do with what I have given. I have nothing that can compare to what He has done and the price that was paid for me. It is grace that frees us up as believers to totally live out our God ordained purpose without fear or regret.

Belief

You breathe out the wind that blows through the trees,

You cause the sun to rise and shine,

You know the number of stars that fill the sky,

But yet we, your children, do not fully give you our hearts.

Why do we not trust you when we’ve seen your works?

Why do we not wake up every morning with praise upon our lips?

You formed us from the earth and gave us life,

You raised me from the dead and healed,

You cast a legion of demons into swine,

Yet our faith is faint and we often grow weary.

What will it take for man to believe?

To truly believe that you ARE the son of God,

To believe that in you we can trust,

To believe that we are nothing without you,

To believe that you are the only provision we need,

When will we stand and be those whom you’ve purposed us to be?

When will we not just speak it with our mouths, but live it out?

When will no longer deny you or doubt you?

When will we deny self and stand for righteousness.