Prepare the bride...

My life has, for the most part, been embedded and intertwined with ministry. Although I have only started recently (the past 5 years) working vocationally in ministry, I grew up in ministry. My parents were in vocational ministry, I led in my youth ministry, did ministry with a Christian sorority, then became the youth ministry's youth director at the ripe age of 19. I have always had this holy fire within me to be a part of making God's bride better and ready for Him. My favorite book of the bible is Acts. I long for the fullness of revival in awakening where whole towns are saved. I don't just want to be a part of a fleeting emotional moment or a 3-day event where the hunger for God's presence wears off a week after we all go home. I want to see complete life change and a people, thousands and hundreds of thousands so on fire for God it is undeniable. I don't our light to burn out.

While His presence is what I long for, I don't just want to soak in it and do nothing. I want to dwell in His presence with the very life I live so those around me are saved, healed, delivered, set free, and provided for. In Acts as the church grew, they were changed forever, they all worked together, and everyone's needs were met. They did not keep the church within the 4 walls, but were His living, breathing tabernacles taking the gospel wherever we go (living it out; Ephesians 2:4-10). This is how we are meant to be!

As I have spent most of my life in ministry, I have seen a lot from multiple points of views and perspectives. I have been a part of the flock, I have been the apprentice, and I have been a shepherd. I remember asking my father why people did all that shouting in church, but they went home as the same person they came as. Your children will tell all your business! I saw my dad and stepmom be the same people, but I heard that it, sadly, wasn't the norm. If I, being a youth, could believe God was who He said He was (King of kings, Alpha and Omega, Yeshua, Jehovah), then why could not the adults have the same convictions. I remember then being that young adult who messed up and tried to sit myself down due to strong conviction, but Elders telling me it was okay to keep going. It is no surprise that the same fire runs deep within my bones as a married 35 year old mother and pastor.

A few nights ago I woke up infuriated and weeping before the Lord. I may not say a lot publicly or I don't say as much as I would like to, but the state of the church and those who call themselves Christians, breaks my heart. I desire to do whatever I can to help better the church and I pray often for unity. We are so divided by personal opinions, politics, unforgiveness and bitterness. Many of us have made churches, pastors, and leaders our idols, lacking personal relationship with God. Those who are then hurt by the "idols'' too often turn from God as they have lumped Him in with the imperfect people that hurt them.

God never expects perfection, but He does require our submission to Him, obedience to the Word, and us to stay fully connected to Him (1 Samuel 15:22-23, 1 Samuel 7:3, Mark 12:28-30). When we make a mistake, He expects for us to come to His loving, merciful arms with humble hearts of repentance (turning away from the sin; Acts 3:19-20). The issue becomes when we continue in our sin to the point that our hearts are hardened to the Holy Spirit and we follow the lusts of our flesh and selfish desires, no longer hearing His voice. We become satisfied with this flesh and what it has to offer while still continuing our role in ministry. This is a dangerous way to live, because eventually God gives us over to our depraved hearts and minds (2 Timothy 3:1-9). While for a moment we will believe the lie that we have tricked everyone to believe the double life some live, God will but only give us so many chances to repent so that his flock will not suffer at our hands.

This is the awakening...we see it happening before our very eyes and will, unfortunately, see more of it. Pastors and leaders are falling into entrapments of sin, because their character cannot stand up to the stage they were given. They die and so does their ministry with them as the hidden sins are revealed. All things will be brought to light and there will be many left with blood on their hands of the ones they have led astray, abused, bashed, hurt, taught false teachings, etc. For those who have prostituted their gifts to the highest bidder, God has no need for that. He has called you and appointed you for His glory and His glory alone. No man shall glory in the presence of the Lord!

I pray, I pray that we would all see the era in our ways and turn back to our first love and be as surrendered to God and the life of Jesus as the disciples and apostles were. I pray we would see that the God we proclaim, preach, and teach is the Worthy one we should be willing to live and die for. I pray we would leave our opinions, prejudices, and politics at the door before we approach His throne. He does not need any of it! Ezekiel is full of chapters that God dealt heavily in judgment with the children of Israel and Gentiles alike for their sins and idols. Do you want to know who started His judgment first? He started with the false prophets, the idolatrous leaders, the prostituting shepherds getting fat off the sheep, and those who were living double lives between church and hiding their sins in the caves. As there is nothing new under the sun, I don’t want to see this continue happening.

I am grateful for Grace that comes through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. However, this is not our license to continue proclaiming God and living opposite of the God we proclaim. While we are all imperfect humans, as shepherds, church leaders, elders, etc. we are called to live to a different standard with Jesus as our example (1 and 2 Timothy, Titus 1-3). We are not meant to sit on pedestals but we are required to live at a higher standard. Where is the reverence that we have for Holy, perfect God? Have we made Him as common as man? When you say yes to the call of ministry at any capacity, you are then responsible for your life and the lives of those God calls you too. If you decide to say yes but live two different lifestyles, the blood of those you turn away from God will be on your hands (Ezekiel 3:18, Ezekiel 33:1-33, Jeremiah 23:1-3, 1 Peter 5:1-14). God has given the blood of His son for each of us, so be careful to care for His sheep well. I know this all may seem harsh, but this is the word of God. I believe it is meant for us to feel the weight of the call in which God has called us to. We don't need anymore celebrity churches or preachers.

We need the pure unadulterated gospel that leads us all to true relationship with God, holy conviction, and life change. He is calling for clean hands and pure hearts that worship Him in Spirit and in Truth ( Psalm 24:3-5, John 4:23-24). He is calling us to be true shepherds who will lead his flock back to Him and destroy the head of the enemy. It is my personal prayer and declaration for the Lord to purify the hearts of leaders and to uproot anything in me that does not bring Him glory. It’s all about Him for me, but even I sometimes allow self and emotions to get in the way. We all get there or have gotten there, but here is time to turn the page and right your wrongs.

For those who do not have a vocational call to ministry, but call themselves a Christ follower or disciple, Paul lays out the sort of life we should live and strive for in the book of Ephesians. It is the responsibility of every believer to have a relationship with Christ, to pray and seek the face of the Lord, and to read the word. God is patiently waiting for us to "get it right" (2 Peter 3:9). I pray that we would all come to the knowledge of God and His expectations for us as His children. I want so badly to see the bride come together in unity and in purity. This is when we will see true, lasting revival that will save cities at a time. This is when we will walk in the full power and authority as the church of Acts. God is not coming for a broken, fragmented bride divided by denominations and opinions prostituting itself to the highest bidder. He is coming for 1 bride, 1 church! There is so much connected to this, so much to say. I can only say so much, so I will rely on the Holy Spirit to do the speaking to the hearts of those who read.