A Marriage Built to Last

I would not say I am an absolute expert on marriage, but I do feel God has blessed us with people full of experience, knowledge, and wisdom on the subject of marriage. We’ve been at this marriage thing going on four years, and I have watched us grow stronger together. No one has been left behind. We’ve both grown as individuals but together.

I know not everyone reading this blog may believe in God or Jesus, but that is whom we build our marriage on. Who or what better foundation can you have than the one who created marriage in the first place? Before my husband and I got married we made the decision that our marital and family foundation would be built on Christ and divorce is never an option.

Who wants to buy a house with a crumbling foundation, faulty wiring, bad insulation, and looks exactly like every other house on the block from the outside? No one! If we passed thru a neighborhood everyday and see a house being built and completed in 5 days, who’s signing up to live there?

Just like houses need time and attention to be built with a good foundation; our marriages need to have a good foundation and daily attention to blossom into the best relationship possible. Just like a home, our marriages also need the occasional maintenance to ensure issues don’t get so bad that they cause us to give up on it. This requires you getting marriage counseling, getting in a good marriage class where you can gain knowledge and be transparent, and/or getting a marriage mentor (a couple that has been where you have and is further along in the journey than you).

Steps to Take:

1. Make God and His word your personal and marital foundation.

2. Surround yourself with those in healthy marriages of different stages.

3. Learn to love one another’s differences.

4. Make your own traditions, and get in unity! > Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

5. When issues arise, go to Godly, wise counsel. Proverbs 12:15, 15:22

A Snippet of Our Story:

We made the declaration in our premarital counseling that Jesus would be the center of our marriage and that our foundation would be the Word of God. We declared that others would look at our lives and relationship and see what a Godly marriage looks like.

Barely a week after our wedding, all hell seemed to break loose. I was in a bad car accident that totaled my car and put me in physical therapy for months. My husband was in a new position that required him to be to work for 3 A.M., and I changed my vocation to enable us to be able to actually spend time together. My change in vocations put a dent in our finances. If that wasn’t enough, family drama arose from both ends, which, at times, took a toll on our emotions. There were other little things that pulled on us; things that could have been our breaking point.

There will always be a storm in everyone’s marriage that you will have weather together. As long as you keep your focus on God and realize the enemy is not your spouse, you will make it through (Read Ephesians 6:12-13). No matter what has happened in our lives, we have put our focus on God and His purpose for the institution of marriage and our specific marriage. No, our marriage is not perfect, and we don't always see eye to eye. Anyone who tells you his or her marriage is perfect is absolutely lying! We are all imperfect people therefore cannot have perfect relationships without disagreement. However, if we would follow the Word according to Ephesians 5, our marriage will be a lot sweeter.

Let me be frank when I say there were so many times when I wanted to pop off and say what I thought in a disagreement. God would literally shut my mouth, and the weirdest things would come out like, “Babe, what would you like for dinner?” or “Do you need my to iron anything for you?” After a while we were not able to stay mad at each other for long. My husband used to be mad at the fact that he couldn’t stay mad at me. We now fast and pray together, have devotional time together (along with our alone time with God), talk about what we get out of the message at church. We submit ourselves to God first, I respect and submit to my husband, and he loves and cherishes me. It is a lifetime partnership, and we are forever growing.

A Few Scriptures to Read:

Ephesians 5:21-33, Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:5-9, Ecclesiastes 4:12, 1 Peter 4:8, and Proverbs 3:5-6

*Thank you to the Shaws, the Wards, the Baptistes, the Walls and everyone else that have sown seeds of wisdom and knowledge into our marriage.*

#MARRIAGE #FAMILY #FAITH #GOODFOUNDATION